I just finished reading this article from Meredith Whitmore of PluggedIn a magazine of Focus on the Family. The article is excellent in that it illustrates how TV dads for the most part are all idiots.
I can think of only two positive t.v. dad who were articulate, funny, and were good role models for men. The character Eric Camden (Stephen Collins) the dad on WB & CW’s 7th Heaven (1996-2007) was a pretty well balanced father. He was a moderate protestant pastor of Glenoak Community Church. He had a mild midlife crisis after a heart attack but never ran out on the family and generally was interested in his children’s lives and they openly and privately respected him. He had a passionate relationship with his wife and even though they argued as real couples do they always seemed to deeply respect and love each other. Eric interestingly was a committed Christian. The only other character that I can think of T.V. that was a good father and husband who was intelligent, well rounded, and a affable father and loving husband was Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby) on the Cosby Show (1984-1992). He also was portrayed to be a Christian though church service was not a integral part of their daily lives it was a normative and positive influence whenever referenced. He too loved his wife passionately and was involved in his children’s lives who often approached him for advice and guidance. His wife respected him even when she was trying to keep him from making poor dietary choices on occasion.
The only other two nominally positive father’s who were closely functional parents are Ray Ramone’s Raymond from Everybody Love’s Raymond (1996-2005) and Tim Taylor (Tim Allen) on Home Improvement (1991-1999). Both positively openly loved their children and spouses. Ray who was loved by his wife and children was not respected by them. He was as the show frequently pointed out a “mama’s boy” who never really grew up. His daughter in the show loved him but seldom seemed to go to him for advice and was very skeptical of him. She learned this from her mother. His twin sons seemed to show little interest in being with their dad. He was a loving father but he simply was seldom involved in either his children or wife’s life. His wife was generally always annoyed at Ray’s lack of involvement and a great deal of tension was always between the two over his lack of maturity.
Tim was at best a mix. He was loved by his family and his wife. He was constantly torn between being a responsible husband and father and a tool obsessed idiot. He was often portrayed as a over grown “man-child.” He in many ways embodied a person who never truly left adolescence. This had negative influences on all his children. His oldest son emulated his buffoonish nature and thirst for adventure but seldom emulated Tim’s strong work ethic. His middle son was a very bright child that often didn’t seem to respect Tim because of his antics. His third son who as a boy once emulated his father grew to reject him and sought his identity in a goth lifestyle and hanging with less than desirable peers. His wife was nearly always portrayed as the wiser of the two and often seen as correcting her husbands often too childlike nature. Both Ray and Tim were nominal Christians who both seemed to only tolerate religion as a familial moral obligation. Neither found solace or guidance in their faith.
The conclusion to the last two decades of television from the mid eighties to the mid 2000s is that a dad and husband that was actually involved and respected is the exception to the rule. Whitmore’s article is penetrating because it not only reveals that t.v. dads and successful marriages are completely considered irrelevant by our culture but that real dads have nothing in our culture to look towards as positive role models. I would love to see more shows with Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable or Eric Camden’s as positive cultural role models for my generation including me.
Possibly related posts:
- what God would say to Jon and Kate + 8, reflections on being a Dad
- life reflections on my spiritual journey
- humble masculinity & femininity, part 3
- Qualification of lead planters: the dude by Mark Driscoll
- Life is easier on tv