We went looking at real estate with my in-laws. We are looking at a particular house that we may be making a offer on. The only thing holding us up is discerning God’s will, finding out if we are pre-approved for a new loan, and if we can sale our house. You know the little things.
Next Adair house?
When we get to Carrabbas, I can’t decide what type of pizza to order. I realize that out the four adults I was the only one who really didn’t want a pizza. Eila was cool just eating bread and watching the fireplace. So I went with my old stand by at Carrabbas. Nearly every time we eat at Carrabbas I get their Chicken Bryan. My wife is convinced its the only thing I will ever order from there. Sometime soon I’m going to tackle making it. My daughter who is almost 14 months old was becoming increasingly cranky as we ate our dinner. She has turned into a especially picky eater when we go out. Is this just a universal for parents of 1 year olds? She ate pretty much nothing but puffs which we had brought and Carrabba’s bread. So as she was fussing, it was hard for her mom and me to really just enjoy our food. In the last five years my in-laws have bought dinner for us on nearly every occasion that we go out. It is nice being treated when you go out but its also nice to pick up someone else tab especially when they don’t expect it. When the waiter brought the check the adoring grandparents were enraptured by Eila Grace. She is quite captivating, quite like her mother. So I grabbed the check and pulled out my trusty check card and the waiter whisted it away. When I initially looked at the check I decided that Eila has to be as smart as her mother or she’s going to end up at Bo Bo’s Clown School because eating out is so flipping expensive now. I was half stupefied by drink prices. I and my wife usually order water. For the four of us to each get teas it was over 10 bucks. 10 bucks just for tea? I mean come on it wasn’t a amazingly good import beer, lager, or wine. I guess it takes a lot of work dunking that tea bag in the water and adding sugar but I digress. Anyway the waiter brings back my card and we get ready to go home. I had hoped we could sit around and talk for a bit but we didn’t get the chance. My in-laws vehicles were at the house since they had ridden with us to see the new house.
So we start heading back to my house when my father in law asks if we can swing by Dunkin’ Donuts and buy some ground coffee. Its in the opposite direction from my house but I agree and decide to drive over. Wilmington traffic at 6:30 PM on Friday is awful. This put me in a mini funk. Inevitably we get stuck in slow traffic. This put me in more of a funk. That’s when I see him. There’s a homeless guy on the corner pan handling. It appeared as if his hip was out of joint as he walked to cars and pan handled for money. As I watched this man limp wearing army style clothing and mismatched shoes, a spirited debate broke out in the car as we decided what we could do to help him. I proposed getting him something to eat. I have a strict rule about not giving these guys cash. I’ve seen enough drug addicts and alcoholics get just enough money for another hit or some more booze. I just don’t see that as helping. I generally try to either (A) pick them up and carry them to get food, (B) give them a fast food gift card, or (C) bring them something to eat.
Option A and option B were out because my whole family and in-laws were in the car. I honestly wouldn’t have picked him up just with my wife and daughter in the car either. They and their safety are my first earthly priorities.
So we went with option C. We get to the Dunkin Donuts and order my in-laws their coffee and purchase a corn muffin for the homeless guy. This was after the spirited debate over do we buy a corn muffin or blueberry muffin. Best line of the day goes to “If I was homeless I would want a blueberry muffin.” I though corn would set better on the guys stomach. He looked like he was coming off a bad bought with the bottle. As we left the parking lot two things were nagging at me. First I just spent all this money on my family but all I bought this guy was one lousy corn muffin. I was being cheap on this guy. It was surprising because I’ve picked up these type of guys up before and carried them to eat, bought them supplies, and drove them to where they needed to go. The second was I had pretty much dismissed the second homeless guy. When I first saw him across the street he looked like he was young man and able enough to work. Super Walmart is always hiring greeters, cashiers, and guys to mangle whatever groceries we occasionally buy there. I usually don’t give offer much help when I think they are being lazy. After all didn’t the Apostle Paul in 2 Thessalonians 3:10 say “he who doesn’t work, doesn’t eat” ? I think generally speaking that is a good principle to go by and it was the proof text I was using not to get involved in this guy’s troubles. Besides we were on a mission to get the first homeless guy his one large corn muffin and then get home.
As we slowly approach the intersection after turning out of Dunkin Donuts we see the second homeless guy sitting directly in front of us. He was sitting in the concrete medium dividing traffic and that’s when I began to get a closer look at the man. He’s in his late 30s or early 40s. His face is defined by a unkempt beard and he has penetrating eyes. He is very thin. His right hand looks like it had recently been broken particularly his swollen thumb. I think has someone beet him up? Has he been in a fight? Is he violent? This man’s poor face was badly sun burned. It seemed to add twenty years to his real age. His thinness reminded me of cocaine user I use to know who had died of complication with Aids. We missed the light with the traffic and we pull right next to the man. He’s sitting parallel to me. He is on the street and I’m in my nice air conditioned car. My wife in the back seat asks if we are going to do anything for this man. I’m at a loss. My self centered selfishness “lets-not-buy-two-muffins-so-this-guy-can-have-one” is palatable to my taste. I’ve judged him from across the road as a able body worker who is to lazy and doesn’t deserve my 2 bucks to buy him a muffin to feed him. My selfishness has left me at a complete lost for words. My mother in law says we can give him her left over pizza if we want too. I roll the window down and hand the guy the pizza. He asks what it is and I tell him its a pizza. He says thank you and God bless a half dozen times. I’m still at a loss for words. I mutter something like God bless you too. I’m a pastor and all I say is God bless you too? I usually even ask waiters if I can pray for them in Jesus name. The light changed and I desperately wanted to get away from this guy because I was afraid he would see how huge of a hypocrite I can be. At that moment, all I wanted was to find the other guy and to give him his muffin and to get home. I had rehearsed what I would say to him after all. Maybe I could redeem my selfishness. We drove back to where he was but he’s gone. At that moment all I could think of was a fussing baby, in-laws who wanted to get back to their vehicles, and a pastor who felt like the world’s largest joke of a representative of Christ.
So here I am sitting in traffic and it hits me. I was willing to help one guy and not the other because I was basing my actions off my feelings. There was mistake one. Feelings can’t be trusted all the time. Mistake two was forgetting that I am supposed to be a ambassador of Christ. It doesn’t matter if the guy could work or not. What matters was God put a prime opportunity for me to witness to the guy and I squandered it. Mistake three was my motivation. I could try and justify things by my idea of thinking that the guy maybe should have been working. Maybe he should have been. Maybe he could or couldn’t that doesn’t matter. What Paul said was in context of people in the Church not those outside of it. I looked it up. I did give him something to help his physical hunger yet missed the bigger opportunity. Next time I will make sure to go further than my selfish desires that wants to do as little as possible. I hope that Matthew 25:31-45 is my motivation for now on and not my feelings.
If your wondering about the left over muffin, my daughter ate half of it for breakfast this morning. I ate the other half of it tonight right before finishing this post. I don’t think I will eat one again without thinking of that guy and praying God might show him the same grace he has shown me.