When we are children our parents and teachers try their best to teach us that combining certain letters can make a word and combining certain words can make a sentence. This is the bases of communication. The goal of communication is to make tangible our relations with one another. The idea of words is a lot more powerful then what we most often think. The gospel writer John called Jesus “the Word.” Jesus according to this writer is the sum total of what God has to think and say to us. Jesus is literally the Word of God made flesh.

God can and did make his word flesh and blood. God’s word lived with us and showed us through his language and actions what we must do to relate to God. Yet what about us mere mortals? We are most often limited to using words to relate to one another.

Despite what a certain President claims no words are “just words.” Words are powerful. We can use words to heal or destroy. Today a good friend found out that his not quite 9 week old baby had died in the womb. What words can you say to relate your sorrow for such a tragedy? I can think of two wrong positions and sets of words that can be used. First saying something like “God had a plan” for this to happen. This of course is true but often is of little comfort in the heart of someone grieving. It can also open the door to a host of theological problems that may never have been opened if the right words had been used. The other wrong position is saying something to fill the awkward silence caused by grief and saying something pat like “I know how you feel.” Now some can say that we have an idea of how it feels to loose life that we deem as particularly precious to us. We may have experienced something similar. Yet each of us grieves differently. I still tear up thinking about the loss of my grandmother before my daughter was born. Yet I don’t know and really can’t imagine how my friends who just found out that they will never be able to hold or touch their child this side of eternity really feel deep inside.

None of us mortals can say we fully understand someone else’s pain. There simply aren’t words adequate enough to express what needs to be communicated.

So what is the solution? What we can do is offer words with sincerity and brevity. It says somewhere in the scripture “let your words be few.” Lincoln is attributed as saying “stay quiet and people may think you are a fool, open your mouths and remove all doubt.” I think the former President was saying that at times we should shut our mouths. I am a talker. It is hard for me to offer just a few words and wait. I desire to call my friends and try to counsel them right now but they haven’t asked for it. If I were to do so I would probably be no more effective then Job’s friends. They meant well but only added to Job’s sorrow. I don’t want to do that to these precious friends of mine. I believe words can heal but they must be given at the right time. I will pray for that time when they need me to speak. I trust God will speak through me then. My prayer is that I will be able to offer them words of grace and truth from Christ. I hope until then that I communicate in such way that I don’t offer just words.