Over the last few weeks I have had to have spiritual open heart surgery. No anastesia was given. It hurts. We closed Crossmark Church the last incarnation of a church plant we’ve worked at for three years on Sunday November 22, 2009. It has been tough. “Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15a).

Let me begin by saying that I am no Job. Job had his whole life ripped apart because he was a righteous man. If we were to compare holiness pedigrees it would be like comparing Oscar Delahoya in his prime and Will Smith pretending to be Muhammad-a Lee. The last few weeks has been a tough time for me. I won’t even dare say that I would be like Job and try to plead my case. Job all things considering was a mostly sinless guy, I’m not. I’m just a guy that Jesus in his grace has used.

I can relate in a small way to the line “Though he slay me, I will hope in him.” God in the person of Jesus is my hope but it is God that is allowing me to go through some big trials right now. The verse tells us that the God who really is there is the one that is allowing even the tough, bad, and terrible things to happen to us. In fact it can, even while being paradoxical to us, bring Him glory. God has been doing that in my life recently.
It hurts. Listen here to the mp3 of the last sermon re-recorded for Crossmark Church. It is 36 minutes from start to finish encapsulating three years of ministry.

I will write far more later as time permits. The mp3 is a good place to start.