Humility, Part 1

This and the next four blog post will read like a confession, possible rant, and hopefully so much more on the subject of humility. Read it and digest it. Comments on it are appreciated. Feel free to pass it on. Push back if I say something you feel is wrong or not accurate. If you think I’m full of it then write that too. Regardless I hope God speaks to you in this as he has in me writing it.

For three years I tried to plant a church. It was one of the greatest blessings in my life. For three years I struggled with trying to plant a church. It will likely always be one of the greatest times of struggle in my life. Three years ago I had a dream of planting a church that would reach middle class suburbia starting in a little town called Hampstead that sits between two major cities of Wilmington and Jacksonville in coastal NC. The area needed the gospel was my reasoning. I still think that is true but that is not a reason to plant a Church.

The problem is my heart was about building two kingdoms at once. One for God and one for myself. My wife and I agreed on 95% of our lives. The 5% was a warning that something was wrong but I wouldn’t listen. That 5% became church planting because I refused to really listen to God. I refused to humble myself and really listen for God.

There is a line in Micah 6:8 from God that gives us revelation on how God wants us to live before him. “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? It has taken five years of ministry to learn this great truth. True ministry can only begin in deep personal humility. Humble means to lower yourself below all others. My first several years of ministry lacked true humility.

My first ministry was as a youth pastor and it was like my own little kingdom in a old established church. While I was there the church kept growing and growing. I was asked to preach regularly. It fed my ego and grew my pride. I was a rockstar at least in my own mind. My wife and I started our ministry together in a church plant. It was at first very exciting. We never realized how really tough it would be. The pastor and I were a lot alike. Both of us had strong personalities. We clashed. I attempted to walk humbly at first. I grew frustrated at it often and eventually gave up walking humbly. This period of pride was good in that it gave me glimpses of my considerable shortcomings. I didn’t leave or quit even though that would have been the easy thing to do for us. It simply wouldn’t have been the right thing to do for us or the church at that time. I knew that to do justice meant staying and working till God released us.

Doing the right thing is seldom easy. God seldom if ever calls us to do the easy thing because it is in the crucible of the fire that we are refined. At that first church I began to learn that God always calls us to walk in humility. I struggled with this particularly when I thought that I was being wronged. When it comes to humility there are only two options. Option one is we can do it willingly by purposeful submission to Christ as we humbly walk with our cross before us as we deny ourselves. Option two is we can have him humble us. Nebuchadnezzar long ago chose option two and later recorded in Daniel 4:37, “Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble.” I chose option two. If you are a option one person than praise God. If you know someone including possibly even yourself then read part two. Be honest which option have you been picking lately? If God were to answer for you how do you think he would answer?

Part 1 of 5, Part 2 coming Monday at 12:01 A.M. E.S.T.