Part 2 in a series on Humble Masculinity & Femininity:

Scripture does not seem to have problems with women in the work force by making a moral living. There are examples of female shepherds such as Zipporah, one military leader Deborah, and widows like Naomi and Ruth who worked the fields. One of key text on business in the Bible is found in Proverbs. It is also where we find a clear reference to the responsibility of women and the workplace. The woman of Proverbs 31 was married and did business outside the home. She sold cloth and did commerce in the marketplace. Indeed the woman of Proverbs 31 is praised in her ingenuity for providing for her household by her husband. Proverbs 31 ends the book on wisdom with practical advice for the male and female relationship focusing primarily on the woman’s role and what a man, a prince name Lemuel, should look for in a potential wife. Remember it was advice from a mother to a yet married son but it was also a oracle. Oracles are some truth that has been revealed by divine favor. There is much in it for us today.

One of the roles of husband-fathers is to lead by making sure everything works out. The creative order of Genesis 2 shows that God, perhaps out of divine humor, created man first and vested him with insight that he had not given to the woman. Adam uniquely spent time with God alone, he named the animals, he realized his deep need for companionship, and he alone was commanded not to eat of the tree. Adam apparently had related all this to Eve. Adam stewarded the information that God had given him. The first role of man was that of a steward. After Eve was created he provided insight to her into the reality of God and creation. Adam exhibited a humble masculinity. This is the heart of provision. Husbands first and foremost are stewards of what and who God has placed in their lives and are to use to bless and guide others.

Humble masculinity can rejoice in God’s provision be it at their hands or their wife’s hands. The husband in Proverbs 31 rejoices in his wife’s good fortune for it blesses their family. He was a excellent steward of the gifts and talent which God had provided for his household by marrying her (Proverbs 31:28). The rest of Proverbs deals with getting entangled with a unvirtuous woman. This man though he had done it right. The man of Proverbs 31 was likely patterned after Lemuel’s father the king and the woman was patterned after his mother the queen.

I struggled for a while getting over the ego of not being the primary bread winner. Overtime I began to wonder was this a biblical or cultural hangup of being the primary bread winner. If biblical then in our relationship things needed to change so I could be the top provider. If it was merely cultural then I need to change and not care about the cultural baggage which in America is predominantly in conservative traditional circles from my experience.

Surprisingly, I could find nowhere in Scripture where men are commanded to make more provisions than women. They are commanded to lead and provide in but this appears to be done often by cultural circumstances. Sometimes God provides more opportunity for women than men.

I became a church planter for three years (2007-2009) as I was attending seminary. It never provided enough to pay for a living but I sure wanted it to. To follow what I believed was God’s call I took no salary my last year and a half other than health and death insurance. It was tough but we made it work.

I had to humble myself and trust God to provide in large part through my wife’s salary in that stage of our marriage.

When we had our first child I had began to work as IT director. For the first time in our marriage I made more than her. My wife and I split staying at home with our first child for the first year and half. When we planned our second child we made the decision that it would be best if my wife stayed home full time. We did this for theological convictions. It meant our salary would be cut by 45 percent. It was then and is now the best call we could have made for our family because my wife has gifts that I simply do not have.

In the next blog post I’m going to cover some theological issues on gender roles in the family along with some illustrations from my personal life. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks for leaving thoughts on willadair.com