Part 3 of 4 in a series on Humble Masculinity & Femininity:
My mother went to work for Max Factor on the nightshift while I was under four years old. My dad had worked at Monsanto in engineering but do to distance and family circumstances had to quit. He become back in the 1980s what we now call a stay at home dad. It got to the place I called him Mommy-Daddy. One day my mother came home and apparently I said “that lady is here” because I had lost some connection with her. My mother was heart broken.My mother quit her job even though it was financially tough to spend more time with me and my older siblings. My dad began a plumbing business and my parents struggled financially for the next several years.
Later my family moved to northern NH. They bought a old house that they remodeled as they could afford it. During that period my mom worked for the state government doing urban renewal grants for needy families. She worked for social justice. My dad worked for the post office. I became a latch key kid. Later my mom decided to go back to school to be a pastor in the UCC. I didn’t see my mom much from 12 to 14 as she traveled and lived in Boston. We were in the extreme tip of New Hampshire so it made commuting difficult. My dad was home every night but at that time my dad and I didn’t always relate. My best memories with him were grilling steaks, watching the OJ Simpsons trial, and watching the Simpsons together. One of my favorite memories with my mom was going and staying a while in Boston with her over the summer. Eventually though I moved in with my grandmother in North Carolina at 14. I never lived with my parents again.
I have mixed memories about my childhood. I remember great deals of time where I felt simply alone.
For several of those years particularly while my mother was in college and seminary I wondered why my mom wasn’t there for me. My parents did not see the incredible need that I as a young child had a need for his mommy to be there for him in the home. I was blessed in many ways. My dad was there every night and both parents loved me very much. Mom came home as often as possible. The fact is thought my daddy couldn’t be my mommy. The fact is God designed mothers to show aspects of life that fathers can not show because they were not designed to do so.
The Scripture affirms this assertion. Paul in 1 Timothy 2:5 speaking in the context of a orderly Christian life talks about the role of mothers. The ESV renders it “Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.”
The verse is awesome in its depth. Mothers alone are designed for childbearing. Physically only a woman can do the first step having the child. Yet it does not end there. Childbearing is a process that begins at inspection through conception, delivery, and the raising of that infant, toddler, child, and finally young adult. It has emotional, moral, social, and spiritual benefits for the mother and the child. The woman that stays home and raises children is sanctified in the process and helps to sanctify her children. My wife can testify to that with a toddler and newborn. She is learning and growing in the grace of God in a way that her professional life never could have provided. She is imparting that grace to our children.
The mother’s bearing of children is a crucial issue for the proper development of the child and well being of society. This is part of God’s design for humble femininity. It is humble for a man to admit he simply can not do the role of a mother.
Tomorrow, I hope to lay a biblical template for this assertion in my fourth and last blog article in this series.
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